week 38

Never again will I be in this state of 100% anticipation. Every twinge, every pain, every time my belly tightens I stop and wonder if now’s the time. Every night I go to bed wondering if I’m going to be woken up with contractions. Every time I bend over or pick up C I hope my water will break. I wonder about it constantly. It’s always in the back of my mind. When will it happen? Will it happen at a convenient time, meaning will it be easy for us to just take off to the hospital or will J be dropping me of with girls in tow until someone can stay with them??? Just such a state of unknown. There is not too much in life that happens that is as huge as this and you have no idea when it is going to happen. That’s the really cool part of it. Just a waiting game. My two girls were pretty stubborn about coming out. They both have to be talked into it. Av with meds and C with my dr working things. In the end though when C decided to come there was NO stopping her or even slowing her down. I have a dr appointment today. Wonder where I will be??? I went to bed last night after having a few big contractions and I really thought, “Tonight is the night!!” Guess it wasn’t though bc baby E is still happily kicking away in my big belly.