comfortable

Av had a green dot on her white shirt today after school and I pointed it out to her and asked why she had a green dot there. She laughed and said her friend Christine had done it. This is the first I have heard about Christine. I said, "I didn't know you had a Christine in your class." She said, "no mommy (in an annoyed tone) she rides my bus." I asked if she sat by her and Teeann. She said, "no she is big." hehehe I took that to mean she is older. Av said she sits in the back of the bus. I asked how she knew her name and Av said, "bc she told me." I asked if she talks to her and she said yes. I asked what she says to her. Av said, "I say hi Christine when she walks past." I asked what Christine says back and she said, "hi Av-e-ry (she pronounces all the syllables of her name. I HATE it but I guess she is learning phonics. I want her name said Av-ry. Oh well). Of course I asked if Christine was nice to her and she said yes. I asked if she knew names of the other big kids on the bus. She said no. Then she said that she does say hi to lots of kids on the bus though even if she doesn't know their names. Such a whole new world for her that I know nothing about. Hours and hours and hours of her day that I am not part of. What a neat little niche in the world she has started to carve out for herself. She is comfortable and happy. She is very much in a comfort zone. A kindergardener a month in is comfortable in the big new world of a school with 550 kids, a place she knew no one at the start, on a bus riding all over the city seeing places she never saw without her parents and with big kids on it. She is comfortable and that is amazing. She has courage that I can only dream to have.

wild man

Just gave E a bath with the girls and it was the first bath for him not in a bath chair. He didn't need it anymore but it contained him so I continued to use it. It is a friend's though and I had to give it back. So now he is a free man in the bath tub and he used it to his full advantage. He LOVED it and was WILD. Didn't want to sit. Wanted to squat and splash. Very modest. Its all he did. I think I was just as wet as they were when it was over. Then he would slip and fall and go under and get up surprised and do the whole thing over again. Couldn't get him to stay sitting. He was so happy I wanted to capture it on video but it was not safe for me to leave him to go get it. He also peed during one of his many standing moments. The girls about lost it and jumped out of that water so fast. hehehe very funny. Didn't know they realized how gross that is. Although neither one of them has ever peed in a pool or anything so they do know that. Av may be a little big to still be bathing with them but she loves it so, so for now it works for us. Love those kids. They are good company for me!!

magical powers

This is what C is up to these days.

After she "turns you into a frog." She usually waits until I ribbit a few times and says, "I turn you back." hheheh She's funny. Keep waiting for her to say, "I turn you into mommy."

E doing soooo big

with turkey on his chin. He claps now too. So cute!

Sweet brother and sister

This is my crew to go to the park a few days ago.

Miss my Avery Lou

Man I saw this today and it pretty much sums up how I have been feeling.

Bittersweet song of September

By Beverly Beckham

Globe Columnist / August 22, 2010

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I’m glad I’m not a young mother shopping for school clothes and new backpacks, studying the bus schedule, filling in the calendar with “No school day’’ and “Early release,’’ scheduling gymnastics and dance lessons, switching gears and mindset, getting ready to give my children back to the world, bidding this long, hot, summer goodbye.

I never liked September when my children were young. It meant the end of something, not the beginning. Every year, when they walked out the front door and down the walk to wait for the school bus, a little taller and a little wiser than they were just 12 weeks before, my heart ached because I knew that when I got them back again in June, they wouldn’t be who they were now.

Children grow in the summer, too, I know, but it’s different when school starts. They seem to grow faster then. Everything seems faster.

There is a song from “Big: The Musical’’ that sums up the bittersweetness of raising children. It’s called “Stop Time,’’ and the first time you hear it, it stops your heart. “Nobody warns you of this parent’s paradox. You want your kid to change and grow,’’ the song says. “But when he does, another child you’ve just begun to know, leaves forever.’’

Even when you win, you lose. That’s the truth of the song. And that’s the truth about kids. You love your children at every stage exactly as they are. You love the way your baby fits snugly in your arms, the way he opens and closes his tiny hands, the way he sighs and leans into you when he’s sleepy. And you want to stop time. But you love it when he’s bigger, too, when he sits up all by himself. And you want to stop time, then. And when he learns to crawl. And when he walks and talks. And look. He’s starting kindergarten. And he’s learning to read. Can it get any better?

It does. It gets better and better. Parenting is filled with bests and a million happy tears. But it’s filled with lumps in your throat, too, and yearning for what was because even as you’re snapping pictures and head over heels in love with the moment that is, a part of you misses the moments that are not anymore. The infant your child was. The 2-year-old you pushed in her carriage all over town. The 5-year-old who said “pinuter’’ not computer. The 6-year-old who raced in from school every day eager to show you what he’d colored and learned and made.

September whisks kids away and entertains them and beguiles them, but returns them not as they were but changed and in a different size. That’s why parents cry as they stand and wave goodbye. Because first grade becomes fifth grade becomes high school becomes college even as you watch.

How is this, I wonder, that a day alone with a colicky baby and an I-don’t-take-a-nap-anymore 2-year-old can feel like a year? But 18 years can go by in a blink of an eye? How is it that both my daughters, who just yesterday were upstairs trying on their new school clothes, are this year dressing their own children ready for first grade?

They’ve bought new clothes and a lunch box and a backpack. Just as I bought new clothes and a lunchbox and a backpack for them, just as my mother bought new clothes and a lunch box and a green cloth book bag for me.

It’s a big step, first grade, the first in a journey that will take their children physically, emotionally, and spiritually to places they cannot begin to imagine. And not only will their children change, but the world will change, too.

The kids are excited. We’re all excited. A stop-time moment is on its way.

But time won’t stop. It won’t even slow down. That’s why we’ll pay attention and take pictures. So we’ll never forget the day. So that even when it’s passed, it will remain.

Beverly Beckham can be reached at bevbeckham@aol.com.

I feel sometimes like I lost Av (not in a dramatic sense of the word, just in a ok we succumb to kindergarden kind of way) but I am NOT losing the other two. I am going to bottle them up just like they are now and keep them little forever. They are so cute and so sweet and I just want to eat them up. Its been a yucky day today. We made it to the park for a little bit but not long. It was slightly cold. I did enjoy very much though the 40 minutes I had there chasing E around the playground equipment that is meant for 5 year olds. His smiles following C around are so cute. I did my work out class in the am and ran into some new friends heading to the park so we joined them. I am so lucky to have days like this. Days with nothing to do but be with my kids. I stuck my tongue out at E and he laughed. Then he stuck his out and laughed some more. We did it over and over again and he just thought it was so funny. Neat he knew he was doing what I was doing wo being able to see himself. We came home and ate lunch and they played together for an hour. An HOUR?!?! Didn't even notice when I ran down to change the laundry. I got to empty the dishwasher wo fighting E off it a million times. They are like cute little bff's. This is what they are doing right this very minute. Coloring and eating. They are such neat little people.

"art words"

Av came home today and said, "I know a art word." Not knowing at all what she meant I said, "what is it?" She said, "background." heheheh Then she said, "I know another." I said, "what." She said, "Mona Lisa." hehehe she is so cute. Now she is walking around the house saying, "Mona Lisa, Mona Lisa." I asked her if she knew what the Mona Lisa was and she said, "yes a famous painting." I asked if she had seen a pic of it and she said yes. She sure is learning a lot. She also came home with a paper cut out of a front of a car glued to a long piece of paper and the back of the car on the other end. It said, "My Relatives came." She had drawn pictures of people. She said she didn't have time to finish it and sat down and wrote everyone's name above their picture. She is getting great with her letters!!

She comes home almost everyday with a sucker?!?!? Not my fav and makes problems with the little sister but what can I do. She gets them bc, "she is a good listener." Can't argue with that. Guess that's how Ms. Roth motivates the class. Its kind of cute. She told me everyone today who got a sucker. Its fun to listen to her talk. Her new little bff is Mckinley. McKinley seems to usually be a good listener too. I think they are pretty similar from what I have seen. I am still at the school every Wednesday. I LOVE it. I help in the library. They keep me very busy. I also helped for pic day and then I also went on Thursday for the Walk-a-thon. It was really cute. Her and McKinley walked about 4 laps holding hands. Then I went in and helped with lunch. The kids are so fun and cute. They all wanted to know who I was and how many laps they had done. They seem to be a great group of kids. I just found out I am a room mom too. So excited. I love love love her school and so happy she is doing so well.

Ok this post is really all over the place already so here is more info that has nothing to do with "art words." As I am sitting here typing Av is spooning big bite fulls of black beans in her mouth!??!?! Who is this child? I put them on her plate just bc the rest of us were eating them and wanted her plate to have the whole dinner on it. Didn't say a word about them though. Yay!!! So excited she is eating them.

E just walked over to me and said "eat." Crazy. His speech is really coming a long.

C making necklaces and E climbing on a chair I brought up for him. Its not going to last long if he is going to stand on it.

busy busy busy weekend

This weekend was kind of crazy. Friday was C's school picnic which we didn't end up going to. heheh J just didn't feel like going which was fine. I had told the girls we were going to a park so we still had to but just not the one where we had to make small talk with peeps we barely knew. Saturday we got up and took the kids to Disney on Ice. It was just ok. The girls did seem to like most of it. They liked the huge snow cones that were $12 each the best. Then we came home and rushed to get everything together for a football party at our house. It was the U of L vs UK game. MSU was also on so we watched some of that but I knew that game was not going to have the best outcome. We had 9 families come over. Which meant 18 adults and 21 kids. Crazy when the kids out number the adults. The kids bounced and played and dressed up and ran crazy. Everyone seemed to have a great time. Sunday we had a family day after boot camp since it had been such a crazy weekend. At school every year they trace the kids and then have us decorate them to look like themselves. Here is a pic of C with hers and one of the one we did for Av last year. So we did that and we also baked halloween cookies. It was a nice day. Look at E's cool new shoes in the pic of him.

labor day

Over Labor day we went to WV to see my sis and my parents. We had a blast as always. Love being at my parents house. They have a very nice community pool that we took the girls too. Aunt Anne and I had taken Av there once years ago and this time we all went. They have a great pool with a shallow side that is 2 feet deep which is so nice bc C can finally stand in a pool. They also have a baby pool, a splash park and a little tunnel slide that empties into the 4 feet deep part of the pool. Neither girl could stand when they landed but that didn't stop either of them. I had seen them both swimming under water but never doggie paddling. They both would fly into the water (wo any type of flotation device on them) and doggie paddle to the side. It was AMAZING. So proud of them. Av made so much progress in the pool this summer and is so strong and C is only 2 and can swim. How many 2 year olds can swim? I was so glad that John and G, AA and my mom's sisters got to see them swim. E loved the splash park. He walked all over that thing and played with the water. J followed him around it for close to an hour. He was cute trying to figure the water out. It was a very fun weekend.

line leader

At Av's old school they had a rotating schedule of jobs the kids got to do. Line leader, door holder, light person and mat person are a few. We used to talk about the jobs a lot last year. Out of the blue C mentioned that her teacher was always the line leader. Av piped up and said they have line leaders in kindergarden. I asked if she had gotten to be the line leader (surprised she hadn't mentioned it). She said, "yes, lots of times." I then wondered how the line leader was picked so I asked. She said, "eni mini miny mo." hehehe Now that is a blast from the past. I have not thought about or heard about eni mini miny mo in YEARS. So fun my little girl is now learning little games that I used to do as a young child. It was so cute. She said it so matter-of-factly. She is getting so big. I hate it and love it all at the same time.

tour of the parks

I LOVE this weather. Cool crisp mornings and sunny afternoons that are perfectly comfortable. We could not get enough of it this week. We went on a tour of the parks wo even meaning too. I just realized last night that E esp was a park hopper this week. We went to Seneca on Tuesday, Ruby Tuesday afternoon after picking Av up from school, Brown on Thursday and then the park at Av's school that afternoon, on Friday I took him to the JCC park and then we all went to Big Rock for a picnic dinner and playtime. It was the most simple week but the best week. I wish we could go to parks year round. We do as much as we can but this summer we prob went all July and Aug wo seeing a park. Too hot. We will bundle and go as much as we can in the winter. E loves his new found freedom. He loves the park. Loves climbing and sliding on his belly. His smile is so cute. He can kind of keep up with his sisters now and he thinks thats pretty cool. A little boy at the park had a blue soccer ball. E was drawn to that ball. He wanted it so badly. The little boy really didn't want him to have it so E didn't get his hands on it much but he was in heaven when he did. I can guarantee E has a ball that is not pink by the end of the weekend.

Silly Camille

Wearing my rain boots and downstairs watching a movie. This is how I found her.

11 months

Oh my goodness E has been 11 months for 11 days now. I can't believe we are this close to his first bday. He is walking. Has been for about a month now. The weather has turned and he needed shoes to keep his feet warm more than anything. He pretty much has always been barefoot up to now. Since he is now enjoying the park on foot now though he needed shoes for that too. I took him yesterday to get his foot measured and to get his first shoes. His foot is a 4 and he skipped the whole soft bottom pre-walker shoe. The Stride Rite girl said he could go right on to a real shoe since he could walk around the store in them once we put them on him. He is still small though and young so they didn't have that many options in his size. He got the cutest pair of navy Sauconys. He is such a little boy in them. Can't believe how big he is. He says more words now and a lot of time will mimic a word you say to him with great accuracy. He waves and says bye-bye. He's a great baby will just play by himself or his sisters forever. He is impossible to dress. That started months ago (always forget to write it down). He just wants to be on the go, not sitting still getting dressed. Sometimes it takes 2 of us at night to get the job done. He is gaining a personality though. He knows what he wants and to get what he wants he just looks at you and yells till you do something about it. Yesterday C had a toy he wanted and he would look at me and yell and then look at the toy and yell more. He scrunches up his face and yells like, "look at me, I am mad, fix it now." I think he feels slightly entitled. He eats well. His favs are cheese and yogurt. I have a hard time keeping him full though. He is a piggy. I am still pumping. Ugh down to twice a day. He does get one cup of whole milk a day. Its not his fav but he drinks it. He climbs the stairs any chance he gets. Really he just likes to climb. At the park he does not care about the slide. Just wants to climb the stairs, have me get him down only to do it again. He loves his baths with his sisters and loves being able to do what his sisters are doing. He naps well and sleeps great. He wakes up and plays until I come get him. Never cries. He gets into everything. Things the girls never dreamed of getting into. He is fun. Loves to rough house. Is good to ride in the stroller as long as it is moving. Has 8 teeth. C brought plastic easter eggs back from my parents house and he has spent hours playing with them. He likes "cleaning them up" which to him I guess is putting them in a bin. I am so so so glad he is in my life. Not sure what I would do wo him. Glad he surprised me by coming into my life. Everett John you are the best boy ever!!!

life

Wow have I been bad. I have not posted in so long. I feel so guilty. Then I feel overwhelmed with all the stuff I have missed posting about. The overwhelmed feeling has made me shy away even more. Needless to say I just need to jump back in and start posting. Just move forward and forget what I have not written about in the past month. We are all doing great. Av LOVES school. She is doing so well and we could not be more proud. She is making friends and fitting right in with her classmates. She is still riding the bus and I love that we were brave enough to tackle that challenge. Her being the one that actually did it and me being the one that let go enough to let her. I volunteer at her school every Wednesday in the library. I kind of forced my way in. I emailed her teacher to volunteer, signed up for everything imaginable at the open house, emailed the PTA but still nothing. So one Wednesday I just showed up. They sent me to the library and I have been there since. They keep me busy and I usually run into her teacher and I get to give her a kiss in the lunch room. I love it. I just want people to know the Hoekstras there. Know that we are a great family and we are there to help make Wilder an even better school than it already is. I also want to know what is going on. I want to see her in her new element so I can picture her there and know what she is doing. I want to be involved and be a part of her new life.

Camille is great too. She likes her new school. Although she never wants to go but she is happy when I pick her up. She will be my child that makes up an illness so she can stay home. She is going to be the one that I will have to constantly be on to get up and get ready for school and "yes you have to go to school today." She loves the days she gets to stay home and the first words out of her mouth when her eyes open are, "do I have to go to school today?" I usually try to avoid the question bc if the answer is yes then all I hear until I drop her is, "I don't want to go to school." She is fine once there and fine at drop off. She is usually teary eyed when I get her just bc she knows the goodbye song and knows that is all that is standing between her and me on the other side of the door. On Wednesday she goes to after care and that is a whole another fight. Again though when I pick her up she is as happy as can be. Even more so than when she does not go to after care. It's those days that she says, "I love my new school." She is cuter than cute though. Singing her days of the week and her, "I am special song." Too cute