nursing strike day 4

I'm feeling a little better. Sorry for the dramatic post yesterday. Still sad but hopeful he will come around. I just don't understand. I know I never will but still why would he do this? He wants too. He is missing the closeness as much as I am. He still very much acts like he wants to nurse but the minute I get it out and get him in position he just resists. He is being so clingy and very cuddly so I am trying to give him what he needs and that is to just hold him and be close. I guess that is the only good part to come out of this. I was nursing him but I totally was taking it for granted. I thought I would have it as long as I wanted. Now that it's been taken from me I am sitting down and really enjoying his snuggles instead of just feeding him while thinking about all the things I need to be doing. Guess that's why he did this to me. He knew he was not getting me fully and wanted to show me. I have learned to stop and smell the roses more so I guess I will just enjoy what I can get. I just wish I knew this could happen. I would have protected it with everything I had if I knew.