finally a post about c

C did great at her first day of school. Today she said all day she didn't want to go. She was saying it last night too. She is going to be my tough child (surprise surprise). She complained all morning and was hard to get dressed. When we finally got there she could not resist all the fun toys. She started playing and was fine when we left. Not overly happy but ok with it. I am sure she will have a great day.

I was cuddling on the couch with her trying to cheer her up and told her we had a bday party this weekend for a good friend. Told her, her bday was coming up and she would have to tell me if she wanted to invite any friends from her class. She said right away, "Emily." Ugh about ripped my heart out. That is her bff from her old school. They were inseparable. We have not talked about Emily in awhile but I guess she has not forgotten her. Made me feel so guilty for changing her school. Ugh there's that guilt again. If its not one kid its the other. She will be fine, she is only 3 and she is at a great school so whatever. But I will try my hardest to get in touch with Emily's parents and plan a playdate.

she loves the bus

She was super excited to get on the bus this am. She missed it from not riding it home last night. hehhe. She said this am, "I am on the bus for a long time." I got sad. I took that as a bad thing. Apparently its not a bad thing though bc when I said, "I know, is that ok?" She said "Yes!" I told her if the bus is not working we will make something work so just tell me. She was barely listening. We got to the stop before Luke and when he got there she was so happy to see him. Then when the bus pulled up her bus friend was already waiting for Av in the front seat. She stood up excitedly and waved at Av. You could tell she was so happy to see her. Av was just as happy. She got on that bus, sat down, and they started laughing and talking right away. I could see her head bobbing happily as tears again welled up in my eyes. Wonder how many days of kindergarden it will take before I have a tear free day????

we got this!!

She had another super duper great day. I know this is early and probably going to jinx everything but all I just want to say, "We got this!!!!" heheheh Just so proud of her. I can't get over it. When she got in the car today (she had hbr so I will be picking her up on Thursdays) she was all smiles. I asked her if she liked it or loved it. She said loved it. She has made a new little friend Jill and still loves her bus friend who she saw on the playground today (the girl is in first grade). Yes I was a mess all day today but she wasn't at all. I have been so happy ever since I laid eyes on her coming out of her school. Her fav part of the day was her popsicle she had outside today. In the car she was singing a new song she had learned and Av has never sung a song by herself. C will start a song and then Av will join in but never ever ever has Av just starting singing out of nowhere. I loved it. She learned about China today and made a magnet so she can proudly hang all her work she does. She came home with a folder in her backpack that will stay in her backpack and go back and forth to school with her with notes and such. The way the teacher communicates with us and how we send notes to the teacher. She was so proud of that folder and showed J first thing. She asked if she could ride the bus tomorrow so I feel much better about that too. 2 days down and a bunch to go but we are starting off on a good foot and I have nothing but positive thoughts for the rest of the year.

life

Take everything I said yesterday and throw it out the window. I am a MESS. Av is fine, nothing in this post is about her crying or breaking down. It is all about momma crying and breaking down. It hit me this am that this is our new reality. Our new life, everyday will be this. Not what should we do today, or what should we do tomorrow. It's get up early (so used to sleeping in till almost 8 which is late and lucky for a mom of 3), rush rush rush to get Av out and then either take C to school or decide what to do with our day. It is nice that I still get to do that with C and E. Thank goodness I do. But my baby, my first born, my best friend. I miss her soooo much. How is it possible that this new chapter has begun and now she is with her teacher more than she is with me??? It's not fair!! I feel guilt today. Why? Not sure, have not totally put my finger on it. Maybe I am feeling like I didn't enjoy her enough or cherish the moments we had together enough. Ugh. I did though, or least I tried to. But not always, maybe I yelled too much or was short a lot or too rushed with the other 2 kids and didn't give her enough. It's sooooo hard. It's like I'm mourning her. Everything I look at that's hers makes me sad. Or I feel guilty (again) that she's not here enjoying her fav stuff. When I look at her seat in the car I long to hear her cute little voice. OMG talk about a drama queen I am being. It's hard. Losing your baby is rough. Another part of my guilt I think is the bus thing. She leaves an hour before school in the am and gets home an hour after school is out. That is a super long day on top of the super long day that kindergarden already is. J and I talked last night and we want to give it a month. She if it works and if she gets used to it. If not we will change and that is fine. We both decided that the time on the bus is good for Av. It gives her 1.5 hours a day of straight talk time to peers. What could be better for a speech delayed kid than that??? So maybe it is best for her, time will tell. Again the guilt is coming in and asking why are we sending her to this school that is further away from our house (I can get there in 7 minutes from my house so it's not far) instead of our home school so she would be on the bus way less. Well it's a better school for sure and she has been there for 2 years with her speech therapist. So those are 2 great reasons. So why didn't we move closer?? We talk about moving all the time and know that we need to at some point. So why didn't I get my lazy butt moving and do it. Ugh. Life is soooooo hard sometimes. I just want to throw myself down on the ground and scream and yell for time to stop. Please!!!!!!!!!

Don't look now Camille, there's a scary monster behind you

All 3 of my kids are running around playing with each other right now. They are wound up!!! I looked at C and she had a red thing around her head. I said "what is that?" She said, "its a headband, its keeping me safe from the scary monster." Av is running around her being the monster. It is too cute. Where they got it I will never know but they are all happy so let it be.

Hooray for my girls!!

They both came home super happy and excited. Camille has not stopped talking about all the singing and reading they did and how they want to "the park 2 times!!" Av did not get home till after 5. Very long day for her. Sounds like she will be on the bus for 40 min in the am and pm. Not sure how I feel about that yet but we will see. She loved it all though. First thing she did when she got home was strip out of her uniform. hehehe Let me see if I can think of all she has told me.

They sang the ABC's

The bus was hot

The bus ride was long

They didn't go outside (????)

She didn't have time to eat her lunch(no surprise there. She is a VERY slow eater. I have been telling her this for weeks)

She sat with the same girl on the bus both ways. Teeann(????)

She can't remember any friends names but we met Jill and Hannah at orientation. When asked about them she said she "talked to Jill a lot and sat at the same table."

She liked her teacher and likes her school

Fav part of the day was playing in the gym.

She has a bathroom in her classroom (hehehhe)

When I asked if its okay Caroline was not there she said, "yes" (but not in the happiest of voices)

I'm so proud of my girls. They both went to new schools today. Places where they didn't know a single other kid. They both took that challenge on and won!! They are both super strong and brave.

10 months

This is a little late but I have been super busy. Not too much has changed for him though. He is still super sweet. He is talking more. He babbles ALL the time but he also says "mama, dadda, dog, bye bye, and Jack." He is starting to wave and do "soooo big" with his arms. He started taking steps this month and then stopped for a week or two. Now he is back on that mission. He usually starts off by walking and then when falls finishes up where he is going crawling. He can take up to 6 steps. He is still really unsteady though. He walks with his arms straight up in the air. It is about the funniest thing I have ever seen. Most kids start with them out in front like Frankenstein. Not E, he has to put his straight up. He is sleeping well, eating well, drinking all his milk for me and just a really happy baby. Loves, loves, loves his sisters. C makes him laugh just like she does the rest of us. I think his daddy and C are his favs. He is getting tooth #7 finally. He hates that he can't run off with his sisters. He will sit on my hip and just bounce and kick his legs as fast as C and Av run with their legs. When they stop he stops. Its pretty funny. The cutest thing is he kick to answer a question yes. When you ask him if he's hungry or wants to eat he kicks his legs happily to answer you yes. He's a neat little man!!!